Have you ever noticed at extended family gatherings that much of the conversation centers around past family experiences? Situations that only your family can understand? In fact, more specifically, often those best memories are connected to past family trips. But, honestly, the classic stories are usually not about family excursions to Disney World or places like that. That's because trips to expensive amusement parks are usually more focused on how great the amusement park is......rather than on connectional family interaction.
Consequently, some of the greatest family stories usually occur in places as obscure as Cut n' Shoot or Old Dime Box--places you go when you travel. This can even include hangin' out together on the side of the road waiting for a tow truck while being stranded....or helping Dad change a tire for the first time. Those great memories that last a lifetime are not always expensive or even planned.
In fact, it's amazing how the most seemingly insignficant memories in some of the most non-glamorous settings can help families to bond.
I remember one particular family day at a mall in Houston. My wife, two kids and I were there to shop, of course--not my favorite pasttime by any stretch of the imagination. But, I always try to remember that a lot of the greatest times of connection occur in some of the most mundane settings. That December day, my young son and I quickly found ourselves extremely bored in a very long line in a crowded department store. So to combat boredom, we spent that time in line playing tic-tac-toe on a nearby display set--we played something like 50 rounds! Later, my daughter and I did puzzles together in a book that was handed to us as we were navigating the human maze down the main corridor of the mall.
A little bit later, we talked our kids once again into posing with Santa (against their will, of course, but that Santa pic was a long-standing family tradition). Each year, we always wondered what kind of Santa Claus we would get--some were better than others. But those pictures are always classics because of the often surly expressions on our kids' faces.
As we were driving away from the mall, we happened to hear the Pink Panther theme on the radio, which for some reason, always reminds us of our dog, Andi. Each family member then immediately told his or her favorite story relating to our dog and her life of constant scamming.
On the way to dinner, my wife had to stop at one more store to buy a gift, so the kids and I took the opportunity to drive to a nearby gas station mart to get some snacks for later. Our kids used to LOVE going to the gas station store (simple pleasures, right?)!! You'd think we had gone to Neiman's or something! Finally, while at dinner at Souper Salad, we played word games, name games, and then my son made me guess pro football players' names for the rest of the night. We retired at home that night having had a lot of fun. I guess I was surprised myself at how much I enjoyed that day.
When you play like that with your family regardless of the circumstances, you let your kids know how valuable they are to you. You let them know that they are more important than the original endeavor. That they are actually more important than the family trip. Or the shopping experience. And all of this re-establishes good communication, rapport.....and great memories.
But the attitudinal change starts with us.....the parents. So I encourage you to always look for the fun in those mundane moments. Before you know it, you'll be creating stories that you'll be sharing years later at the family gathering. And then don't get offended if non-family members are rolling their eyes or yawning. They just won't get it.
