Happy Is As Happy Does

This past week, MTV and the Associated Press released a landmark study regarding young people and the state of happiness. What they found is that young people (13-24) today are generally very happy, optimistic about the future and have goals in place to become even happier later. Sounds great, doesn't it? You may check out more details of this in-depth study at MTV think.

There's certainly some seemingly good signs in some of the findings of the study. Besides determining that most American teens are happy and optimistic, parents are also seen as an overwhelmingly positive influence. In fact, nearly half of the respondents mentioned at least one of their parents as a hero. Wow....maybe you can trust someone over thirty! And if forty is the new thirty...maybe there's hope for a lot of us.

So what are we to make out of all of this? At first glance, the report seems to be glowing. After all, there's a lot of happiness in the findings. That's got to be a good thing, right? Certainly, we as parents delight in seeing our children when they're happy. But, as Peggy Lee (who?) sang in the late 60's, "Is that all there is?"

Happiness is one of the great blessings of living in this world. It would be nice to be happy all the time. As a matter of fact, I consider myself a very optimistic person. But I guess an important thing to consider is your personal definition of happiness. In one case, my Webster's defines "happiness" as the state of being in a happy mood--characterized or indicative of pleasure. Hmmm......if one's life is going to be lived based on that definition of happiness, then there's probably a whole lot of frustration up ahead. In the course of an average day, one's ability to experience worldly pleasure at any given moment can be limited, at best. And that's universally true for everybody. If you don't believe me, just ask today's richest, most famous celebrities.

I guess that's why I prefer another one of Webster's definitions for happiness: having joy. The biblical definition of that word joy implies a happiness that is not determined by your external circumstances. It's determined more by your identity in Christ. It's a reflection of knowing who you belong to. This resolution inside develops into a deep confidence of being significant in Someone's eyes.

So how do we pass that kind of happiness or joy on to our kids? The best answer is to live out that joyful response in our own hearts. In Philippians 4:4-7, Paul gives a pretty clear prescription for how adults can live in joy. And one of the many key phrases for me within that passage is this one: Let your gentleness be evident to all.

What an interesting idea! This may be something new for you. Rather than being heavy-handed or manipulative as a parent, try this strategy instead. If you can demonstrate to your family a gentleness that comes supernaturally from walking closely with God, I believe your children will have a much higher chance of living in that same kind of joy. Not a falsely pious joy (a major big turnoff to both kids and adults), but instead a simple gratitude for all that God has and will do for us.

The advantage of this approach is that no matter what your kids' circumstances in life, good, bad, or ugly, they can still genuinely experience joy in their day. That will make all of us parents happy!

A happiness rooted in joy. My mom's favorite musical piece was J.S. Bach's classic "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring". In fact, it was played at her memorial service. She died relatively early in her life after a long struggle with cancer. I've always loved that Bach masterpiece. I still get joy every time I hear it. Each time, it reminds me of how powerful and wonderful it is when a person knows that they initmately belong to Someone. That's the happiness worth living for.

What I Did On My Summer Vacation: I Worked!

My teenage daughter is working this summer up at our church for the third year in a row. That just also happens to be where I work year round myself. Even though she and I don't work together in the same area, it's still such a great thing to have her there on campus. Some days, we ride into town together (so she can save on her own gas money). During the course of a busy day, we "bump into each other" a lot--usually at the copy machine. Every now and then, she'll drop into my office just to defrag for a few seconds and play the old acoustic guitar I have sitting in the corner. Sometimes she'll serenade me for a minute or two. That's pretty nice. And the best part is that every few days or so, we'll do a lunch together at our little dad-daughter lunch place. It helps make a very long, hot Houston summer quite pleasant....just to have my angel up there with me.

Working at the church has also been a great experience for my daughter, too. She has most definitely earned her spot on that summer staff. She volunteered her first year, and because of her outstanding work ethic, she was quite convincing of her worth in being hired in successive years. In the course of her duties in the youth department of a large church, she interacts with parents, students, staff and volunteers, and takes on a tremendous amount of responsibility for someone her age. She also serves in music leadership during the summer. All of her dealings there will serve her well in the future. As you have probably figured out, I couldn't be more proud of her.

Summer jobs are so important. That's how I learned my own strong work ethic--something I didn't have before I started doing summer jobs. It all began with my first bona fide job at fourteen. Sure, I had mowed lawns and things like that before, but only because my parents made me do it. But now, I was digging ditches for my dad's construction company in Beaumont, Texas--in the hard clay, out in the middle of a new job site, helping to put in a sewer system, digging under a hot Texas summer sun where it was 105 degrees in the shade (even though there were no trees within half a mile of the job). In many ways, it was the best temporary position I ever held--only because no matter what future jobs I would take later, they would always be not that!!

Washing dishes at a hamburger restaurant, selling toys at a department store, roofing (another really tough gig), working at a bank, running camera at a CBS television station, working for an advertising agency, becoming a DJ at a radio station.....all the other summer jobs I held following that first one were each also instrumental into helping me later in life. It was an eclectic mix, to be sure. But I can't say enough about the importance of doing all those things and learning what it means to be a professional.

We have another teenager coming up who will need a summer job soon. We'd better start looking for options for him, too.