Give Them Wings

This morning I waved goodbye to my youngest child as he headed out for church camp. He was so excited. His two best buddies were going, too. They've all been anticipating this special week. I was careful to give him his goodbye kiss and hug while still inside the car. You know how those adolescent boys can be ... they love us and all, but come on, Mom ... save the affection for inside the house! Every time one of my kids heads out of town, or even to a friend's house for a sleepover, I am reminded that one day these children (teenagers now) will be leaving my nest. When I was a young Mommy, people used to say to me, "Enjoy them, because they grow up so fast." And I used to secretly think, "No, they don't! This season is going by very slowly!" I was completely wrong. It seems we blink our eyes and our babies are dating and thinking about where to attend college.

And the older they get, the faster the seasons fly by. We're planning a couple of college visits this fall, even though my daughter still has two years of high school. But I know that I will turn around and those two years will be gone. Brett and I spend a lot of time writing and talking about giving children good strong roots. Roots of spiritual truth, personal responsibility, and strong relational ties. But I also hope we focus as much on giving children good strong wings. Our children are in our nest for such a short season, and they will eventually fly away. We want them to be able to be self-sufficient, good decision makers, and people that care about their community. These are the wings that will take them so very far in life.

Hug your kiddos tightly and tell them it's a good thing for them to fly. To quote a favorite Andy Griffith Show episode ... when Opie lets his little birds fly away from his cage, he says "Boy, Pa, the cage seems awful empty." And Andy responds with, "Yes, but don't the trees seem nice and full?" That's a good one to remember!

Grace For the Journey

The other day I had lunch with a friend who is the wonderful Mommy of a healthy and happy toddler, her only child so far. We spent most of the lunch talking about how much she worries about whether she's a good mother. A few days later I sat in on a small group at my church where the topic was parenting. This group discussed the blessings of raising children and also the worry that someday they'll wake up and discover they're doing it all wrong. I began to realize that most of us as parents aren't completely confident of our parenting skills. I sometimes think back on the early years with my little ones, and I'm embarrassed at how much time I spent worrying ... not just about them, but about me. There were far too many times when I was stressed out and full of anxiety over the silliest things, when I should have been enjoying the season. It's funny, but by the time you finally start to get the hang of parenting, your kids are almost grown up! So as the Mom of two teenagers, I say this to all of you who worry you're not doing a good enough job ... Cut yourself some slack! There is no parent in the world who gets it right all the time. You're going to make mistakes ... big ones. But you ask your kids to forgive you, and you dust yourself off and start a new day with God's help. In case you haven't noticed yet, children are the most forgiving people on earth. Never has there been a time when my kids didn't immediately forgive me when I asked them to do so. They are very Christ-like in that regard. It's refreshing. I remember hearing a well-known psychologist and parenting expert say that he was sure his kids would someday be lying on some psycho-therapist's sofa complaining of what a terrible father they had! This parenting gig is a marathon ... not a sprint. You're going to have great days and bad days. Let God's grace shower you once in a while ... it feels good.

Internet Acronyms

The more things change the more they stay the same. When I was a kid, there were all kinds of phrases that my friends and I used that my parents had no clue about. That same generational divide has been revived--this time in the world of media. Computer-savvy teenagers (and even elementary-aged kids) have a language that is uniquely theirs--in this case to use online and on cell phones. But now the stakes are a bit higher in what's being communicated to whom. Whether it's used for texting, instant messaging, or posts on webpages, it's good for parents to have a clue of some of the terminology used.

Of course, the new online vocabulary is hard to master as new terms are being invented, literally, every day. Here are some very common internet acronyms that have been used for a few years now:

P911 - Parent Alert

PIR - Parent In Room

MOSS - Members Of The Same Sex

KPC - Keeping Parents Clueless

LMIRL - Let's Meet In Real Life

KFY - Kiss For You

ASL - Age/Sex/Location

Those are some of the much milder terms used commonly these days. Go to http://www.netlingo.com/ to access the Top 20 Internet Acronyms Every Parent Needs To Know. You will also find other helpful information there.

Remember, it's so important to stay invested in your children's lives, particularly in their media communication. At the very least, it's fantastic insight into the inner world of their lives. Beyond that, you very well could be protecting them from things that could endanger them.

It's That Time Again

Teen rebellion is no respecter of families. One of the reasons why is because rebellion is often caused by hormonal issues. If that's the case, how do you minimize the potential blowups of an angry hormone-driven teenager? Not too long ago, The National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health surveyed over eleven thousand teenagers to determine which factors were most helpful in preventing harmful behavior, such as violence, suicide, substance abuse, early sexual behavior and teen pregnancy. According to an article by Dr. James Dobson, here's what the researchers found: The presence of parents is critical at four key times of the day: early morning, after school, dinnertime and bedtime.

When those crucial times of the day are combined with shared activities between parents and their kids, the most positive outcome is achieved. And it gets even better when there are strong feelings of emotional connection between teens and their parents.

So how in the world can you be available at all of those times and still meet the demands of a work schedule, for instance? Actually, it's quite possible you can't be available for all of those times. Nevertheless, as the parent of a teenager, it's wise to do the very best you can to make the sacrifices you can in this area. A parent's willingness to make connections with their teenager at this critical stage will pay large dividends down the road.

It's just a fact that some of us have more flexibility with our work schedules than others. My two cents is that if God has given you the opportunity to be flexible at all in this regard, please take advantage of it. It's a gift....a splendid gift. No matter what, do all that's in your power to spend more intentional time making connections with your teen. What could be a greater investment in their future? And even if your teenager may not always verbalize his or her appreciation to you precisely at that critical moment in time, trust me....they will be so grateful to you.....eventually.